Why Does Everyone Hate Belgium?

Updated July 2 at 6:30 am

Pity poor Budweiser.

On the one hand, it’s the official beer of the U.S. national soccer team. The Bud people made a really neat hype-filled video for U.S. soccer featuring the Clydesdales.

And yet, in a tragic twist of fate for the iconic St. Louis beermaker, it’s now owned by a Belgian company.

Of course, there has to be a morning after.

And the morning after the American loss to Belgium in overtime — all three goals (2-1) scored after an hour and a half of grueling play in Brazil — all that Belgium-bashing back home could leave a bad taste in some mouthes.

It was a weird day in America when all of a sudden everyone started hating beer, chocolate and waffles. Belgium, after all, is a pretty inoffensive place — maybe the most scandalous thing about the country is that its most famous statue is of a little boy perhaps being too cavalier about where he relieves himself.

Yet, as the U.S. men’s national team prepared for a World Cup Sweet Sixteen match against Belgium today, here we were.

Rep Jackie Speier, a California Democrat caught up in the mood,  urged a one-day boycott of Belgian waffles.

Waffle House, the iconic chain restaurant of 3 a.m. post-bad-decision deliciousness, tweeted simply: “We don’t believe in Belgium waffles.”

They were backed by Texas Democrat Tony Cardenas and Georgia Republican Phil Gingrey, who passed on the message.

Bojangles, a North Carolina-based southern fast food chain, was trying to get #BeatBelgiumWithBiscuits trending. Alongside a very patriotic Twitter photo of a bald eagle eyeing a Bojangles biscuit, the company wrote: “Biscuits come from amber waves of grain. Waffles come from Belgium.”

That was retweeted by Rep. Patrick McHenry, who had an excuse, we suppose, because he represents North Carolina.

Yeah, it was all a bit of a joke, yet Congress can get really seriously patriotic about its food, sometimes to a fault.

In 2003, incensed that the French weren’t backing the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, the Republican-controlled House demanded the french fries in the House cafeterias be renamed “Freedom Fries.”

They were until 2006, when Michigan Republican Vern Ehlers took over the House Administration Committee that oversees such things and reversed the policy.

Please, nobody tell the House that french fries originated in Belgium.

Ultimately, the match would live up to the name of the final round of the World Cup: Knock-out. The U.S. team is headed home.

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